I have been wanting to lose weight as far back as I can remember. I remember as an 11 year old kid in intermediate studying and critiquing my body and I never really stopped doing that.
Counting calories is what you’re meant to do right? Or is it Atkins, or Paleo or HFLC or HCLF, or Keto, or the potato diet, or water fasting, juice cleanse or 1200 calories a day. Who the fuck knows!
All I know is I haven’t lost any weight counting calories, I starve then I binge, I can’t handle any high fat diets because I have no gallbladder anymore and can’t digest high fat or animal fat products so I just get incredibly sick! I also can not live without bread.
I’ve spent all my time stressing about the weight that I haven’t actually lost any, my focus has been so much on depriving myself instead of nourishing myself. In the past 10 years I have gone from a sick skinny person to a sick fat person and I’m so bloody sick of being sick! In the last 10 years I have come last, my health has come last.
I have done everything from starving myself, binge eating, smoked cigarettes, drank too much, ate too many takeaways, not drinking enough water, not eaten enough fruit and vegetables, over exercised, under exercised, felt lethargic and tired all the time, been an insomniac and I’m really sick of it all.
Right now I’ve been smoke free for 6 years, I don’t drink anymore either. But everything else is still a work in progress. In the last 2 months I have actually started listening to my body, giving it what it craves, what it needs. I’ve finally realised that when I have digestion and stomach pain after I eat something I shouldn’t eat it!
I’ve also started learning about what some of those cravings actually mean. When I want lollies and chocolate biscuits my body doesn’t need those. It wants the sugars! That’s right my body needs sugar and not the processed sugar it’s learned to love because that’s what I’ve been feeding it, the natural sugars found in fruits and veges!
I would say right now I’m eating 90% plant based. The time when I’m not eating plant based is when we are out to eat but I try my best to keep it as close as possible. You know what I’m sleeping better, no longer am I going to sleep at 4am 6 nights a week! I have more energy and I don’t feel like I need a nap in the middle of the day, I no longer have digestion issues, my skin is starting to clear up after 14 years of moderate acne. My cycles are more regular which has been an issue for me since 2009. Plus I’m down 3kg, I haven’t been perfect on this journey but it’s not about that. I’m trying to improve the way I feel and my body will follow. Now the weight loss will be a side effect not my ultimate goal.
I’m still learning and I’m still not perfect. I’m still eating a bit too much plant fats (damn you avocado!!) and oils in dressings every now and again. I’ve been eating some processed foods too like crackers, bread, chips etc and sometimes when we go out to eat the only thing that isn’t high fat meat is hot chips. (They have been the only thing recently to give me stomach issues because they are so high in fat.)
Yesterday I got all emo about the fact I hadn’t lost more weight and I really had to pull my own head in. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn’t get fat over night so I’m not going to get thin over night either. Consistency is what is going to get me healthy not undoing all the good I’ve done by eating the 3 packets of TimTams I was gifted last week! That’s right I’ve had 3 packets of TimTams in my cupboard for almost 2 weeks and I’m actually not craving them, that’s how I know I’m doing something right!
My ultimate goal is to be happy, healthy, energetic, feel good and set a good example for my daughter. She is already following my example at 12pm she has already had 5 servings of fruit and veg, all requested and in no way forced by me.