This year has been right up there with the hardest years of my life. We suffered a tragic loss of a family member that turned my whole family upside down and round the block a few times. While I was trying to keep up with my handmade business, grow my blog and think of the future at the same time as trying to keep up with my 3 year old. I was also the president of our local playcentre which was a role that was very unfamiliar to me.
I was so overwhelmed, getting 4 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and barely holding onto my sanity. It wasn’t doing anyone any good especially myself. I was really drowning and everything was suffering because of it.
About a month or two ago I decided something had to change, my current lifestyle was not working and I really had to take a step back and look at the things that were really making me happy and what is best for my family long term. I made the decision to be a stay at home mum because I wanted to stay at home with my daughter however I found that I was always busy and the time where we stayed at home I was setting her up with independent activities so I could work. I felt like we weren’t really getting the quality time I hoped we would.
I thought really hard about what I was in love with the most they were my family, my animals, creating, writing, connecting with people and pursuing my passions. I was finding myself sitting down to work on my handmade business and it was feeling a lot like work. I knew then something wasn’t right, my handmade business has never really felt like work before, yes there are things I don’t particularly like doing but I had never felt this way when I sat down to create things for my business.
It was then that I realised that it would be my handmade business that I was going to take a break from. After already taking a step back from markets this year I had realised how much time I was actually spending away from my family and how much stress I had been putting myself under.
So I made my decision, made the announcement and then did my final market. To be honest I thought I would be a lot more emotional and sad about it but in reality I was feeling this massive weight come off my shoulders and I felt somewhat free.
The week after my last market I escaped to the beach house for a whole week, no internet, no phone, no emails it really did feel like a week away from life. I spent the week playing on the beach with my daughter, walking the dog and having dinner at 4pm! It really felt like a proper holiday which I haven’t really had since I started my business because whenever we go away I was always bringing some kind of work with me. I didn’t even take any blog photos! It felt so nice to not be stressing about orders, upcoming markets, ordering stock etc etc.
I think it was then that I was really at peace with my decision to close my business. Now I haven’t completely shut down I have taken the odd order here and there but I’m not stressing about it anymore. I haven’t looked into selling off my excess stock and materials at the moment but this is something I will do in the New Year, I just wanted to enjoy what was left of this year and not spend it trying to sort that stuff out!
So that’s roughly why I closed my handmade business obviously there are a lot of other things that go into such a big decision but that stuff is boring! This experience also showed me how important is to unplug and really enjoy the moment without other things in the back of my mind nagging at me!
I hope all of you enjoy your Christmas, I will again be unplugged over the Christmas break but I might share some of our adventures on the blog in the New Year!
Thank you all for reading, sharing and liking this blog I have so many cool things planned for next year and I hope you will all get involved too!